


Previously on Teen Deer

by ConvertingCriminals



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Deer puns, I'll update tag later, Multi, am i supposed to regret this or, derek is bambi, hunters are actual hunters, wolves are deers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-14 00:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvertingCriminals/pseuds/ConvertingCriminals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So you're suddenly a weredeer, I guess it could be worse, you could have been a werewolf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Previously on Teen Deer

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even think I want to admit how long i've had this fanfiction planned for.   
> But! I am so sorry for the first chapter, this one mainly follows the first episode plot line because I need to get past the initial change of Scott. It'll get better starting next chapter I promise so don't kill me over this. That aside, I hope you enjoy the fic!  
> This chapter is also unedited right now.

 

There will come a time in Scotts life when he will come to realise that finding your best friend hanging upside down off your roof only to then proceed to drag you out to the preserve at god knows what time is quite possibly a bad thing.

 Tonight, however, is not that time.

While Scott and Stiles were renowned for many things, like the time they thought Scotts next door neighbour was a thief only to follow him into his ex-wifes house, or the time Stiles was positive there middle school teacher was part of a gang and decided they should try to be initiated – that had been one very awkward conversation followed by a long lecture by Stiles’ dad.

They often came in a pair, one never being without the other when trouble was about. Trouble was about often for them but luckily the teens were smart for devising plans.

Over the years these plans seemed to have gained a formation;

It sounded great at the start

It sounded okay on the way

It sounded bad when they arrived

And it seemed terrible as they traipsed through the preserve in the middle of the night.

Scott seemed suddenly uneasy as they made their way further into the woods, “What exactly are we looking for Stiles?”

Stiles paused in his step, waiting till Scott stepped up to him to speak; “Half a dead body” Stiles gave a half shrug as he scratched the back of his head nonchalantly.

Needless to say Scott wasn’t nearly as nonchalant about the whole ordeal, “ a dead body, stiles? Are you crazy? How do you even know this?”

“I may have over heard my dad talking about it.”

Scott stared

“Or I may have listened in on a few of his calls.”

“Do you even know what half we’re looking for? Or even what we’ll do when we find it?” Because being a suspect for murder was not one of Scotts top 10 things to do.

“Heh, didn’t think about that.”

They continued through the wood with idle chatter, keeping their voices as low as their footsteps dragging through bramble.

There must have been a universal truth somewhere that whenever Stiles’ has a plan it normally ends up going to pot, because those lights in the distance followed by dogs barking did not sound all that good for them.

Then ran, or in scotts case, jogged very slowly in a direction that was away from the dogs hot on their heels.

Stiles urged Scott on a few steps in front of him regretting it immediately when he face collided with the cold dirty ground. It happened fast, like a blur of scenery flying by a moving car – one second stiles was on the ground, Scott a few feet ahead hiding behind a tree, and then the next he was being hauled to his feet by his dad.

“Dad,” Stiles sputtered, the harsh light of the torch being dragged across his face making him squint. “What are you doing out here?”

“What am I doing out here?” Sheriff Stilinski was clearly not impressed, but honestly that doesn’t change much. “I wonder, what would I be doing out here Stiles.”

“Picking daisies? I heard they’re in season now.”

A sigh

“Where’s your partner in crime?”

“Partner in crime? What partner in crime? It’s just me, minding my own business.”

Needless to say, he was not convinced. There had never been a time where there would be one without the other, “Scott! Scott if you’re out there come out?” Silence

In retrospect this was one of Scotts stupider decisions, staying quiet and not following the safety of the sheriff but instead choosing to brave the walk home on his own.

He forgot about the possible murderer on the loose.

Oh, well.

Scott left as soon as the dogs and search team were out of hearing distance and made his way back though the forest, regretting it more and more each step he took though the thicket.

The sounds around him put him on edge, the constant noise of moving wildlife set him off running though the tress, dodging around them as he went. Scott will forever blame Stiles if he happened to get murdered while playing Scooby doo. He swore as his foot caught a uplifted root flailing towards the ground as he sprawled out. He froze midway though sitting up, staring at the shadow that lay out before him – it was like something out of a film, the blood and gore effects were twice as gut wrenching up close, the body before him took all his attention, gaping at the sight so horrified that he almost didn’t notice the small vibrations of his surroundings that only something ominous could cause.

Or, yanno, a stampede of deer.

Scott can’t remember how he got home that night, between sharing a tree bed with a dead girl and being attacked by deer he’d say he had enough excitement for a lifetime.     

 

“You have got to be kidding me”

“No, really, I found the body! Also got mauled by a deer”

“That is so cool!” Stiles pumped his fist before reeling back his excitement, “I mean the body part, you getting mauled, no so much. How did you even get mauled? You sure you didn’t get impaled by antlers?”

And that is one nightmare Scott didn’t need, “ I don’t know, but I think I lost my inhaler in the woods”

“Perfect!” Stiles slapped a hand on Scotts back, “After school we’ll head over there and search for your inhaler, and then we can accidently get lost on the trail of a body.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean-“

“Trust me Scott!” Stiles started, flailing his arms up as he reared them back into the direction of school, “This year will be out year, we’ll be cool from finding this body. You’ll get girls all over you, and then maybe Lydia will realise that I am the next best thing to slicked bread.”

“But what is she doesn’t eat bread?” Ah, leave it to Scott to pick out the most useless peice of information from a conversation.

“Oh my god Scott,” Stiles started with a sigh, and whatever he finished with Scott didn’t hear because one second he was talking to his best friend and the next he was staring at possibly the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stared, watching as she rummaged though he bag, listening in on her as she spoke to her mom.

Wait, _Shit._

Allison Argent was new to beacon hills with her family who move around often, she had the most beautiful smile and seemed to make everything seem to glow.

Well, that was what Scott had told Stiles as they changed for Lacrosse that afternoon.

“Yes Scott I know, her smile will light your way in darkness, you’ve told me,” His locker slammed shut “8 times already.”

“But I talked to her! And she said thanks!” Scott smiled, his eyes a daze as he leant against his locker.

“Yes, I know, I was in the same class remember?” Stiles groaned, “The same class you are currently failing.”

“Did you see-“

“ _Oh my god_.”

Lacrosse practise was, well, Stiles doesn’t like to think about that.

“I can’t believe I screwed that up.” Scott groaned as they made their way through the preserve once more, hey, at least it was day now.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Stiles consoled.

“You’re lieing,” Another low whine.

“Come on Scott don’t be so hard on yourself”

It wasn’t as if the world had ended. Practise started off quite good if Stiles was perfectly honest; Scott had become oddly good at Lacrosse and seemed to be good enough to play first line this year. He was making a show of himself while Stiles cheered his friend on from the sidelines. That was until Scott caught sight of Allison in the crowd donned by none other than Lydia Martin.

While it started out good, the head-butting was not star player material.

“I can’t believe I did that! Allison is gonna think I’m a complete nut job.” Scott rubbed his palms over his face “urgh, let’s just find my inhaler, I wanna go home and wallow in my misery.”

“What I want to know is how you got so good at lacrosse” Stiles paused before continuing, “And also why you decided to head-butt Greenburg. ”

They paused their conversation to jump across the small stream, resuming it as soon as they had reached a recognisable place and started leaning down in search of the lost inhaler.

“I have no idea. It was so weird, like a horrible instinct.” Scott brushed his hand though some tall grass.

“Yeah, sometimes I have the same instinct,” Stiles shrugged, “Although I think I’d crack my skull with Jackson, his head is probably as hard as his heart.”

They continued searching, only pausing to groan about losing it in the first place or to talk about their plan for the school year.  Stiles have up first, straightening his back and glancing around,

“I don’t think were gonna find it.” Stiles paused before quickly patting Scott on his shoulder, grabbing his attention and directing him to face the man standing about 10 feet away.

 “Do you think he’s seen my inhaler? Should we ask?” Stiles was so close to hitting his head of a tree just to escape this conversation.

 “Yes Scott lets ask the guy radiating serial killer vibes if he’s seen your inhaler in the same forest a dead body was found, hey maybe let’s ask him if he has a good location to bury ours!” Stiles whispered harshly.

Neither of them had enough self preservation to realise how long they had been whispering among themselves in front of the stranger until he spoke, rough and deep and slightly hostile.

“This is private property”

“Wow okay, that’s nice, thanks for that” Stiles started, pushing Scotts shoulder away from the space separating them, “We’ll just be going, like now.”

“Wait,” He curled his hand around something in his pocket before giving it a quick throw in scotts direction, Stiles almost didn’t catch it if it wasn’t for Scotts small gasp.

The next second Scott looked up he was gone, leaving Scott with his inhaler and Stiles with a hell of a lot of questions.

“Dude that was Derek Hale,” Stiles grabbing Scotts attention from the object still in his hand

“Who?”

“The Hales? Family fire?” No luck, “Wow, this town is wasted on you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for terribad deer puns and cracktastic moments. From this moment I doubt i'll be following the teen wolf plot line too closely? I don't think.  
> I just have to say thanks to everybody on the livestream last night.


End file.
